Joe, you are the only writer alive who can make sense of Gunsmoke, Jake & the Fat Man, Rocky and Bullwinkle and Shakespeare all being strung together in a short and touching essay. Incomparable. [yay! no typos]
Ok Max...so you ain't a map guy...for your novels. What about illustrations throughout the book? You have a graphic on the cover of your books. As a yute, one of the things I loved about my particular hard-copy volume of "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" by Jules Verne was the illustrations placed at key points...depictions of Captain Nemo, a scene showing a burial of one of the crewmembers of the Nautilus in an underwater cemetery, sea creatures attacking Ned Land.
As for non-fiction, who doesn't love the maps in the books of Generals Sherman and Grant?
As for movies, I loved "The Birds" by Hitchcock. Your Browerville students were treated to the film. (Did they need permission from their parents to watch it?)
True story: My English teacher in high school treated us students to a viewing of Hitchcock's "Psycho" starring Tony Perkins. (We had a 35mm projector room). My teacher, being something of a provocateur, dressed-up in costume and in the middle of the scene where Tony Perkins (the Psycho) pulls-back the shower curtain and starts knifing Janet Leigh, my teacher ran with a knife raised down the middle of the room, seemingly emerging right from the screen, and freaked all us youngsters out. Once the panic subsided, the laughter began. My teacher was not fired. It was a different time.
Most guys aren't "map guys". I will ask Tom if he knows how to get where we're going. I admit that we eventually get there, but I don't think it is always the most direct route.
When I left my parents’ house and went away to college/grad school I did not have a television at home for fifteen years. I became an avid fan of radio and enjoyed the stations that played “old time” radio shows, the westerns, the drama, and the comedy. Sirius XM has a channel that runs those shows that I enjoy. I am still a bigger fan of books and radio than TV or movies, with few exceptions. When it comes to music, though, there is nothing better than an in person concert.
It's an interesting problem. With the radio shows, there's almost always a commercial break every thirty minutes where I check the gas gauge and anything else that needs attention. The first time I listened to an audiobook (Indian in the Cupboard since I was driving with young children), I remember my panic when I looked at the dash and screamed "How long has it been on empty?" In the middle of South Dakota, with almost nothing around. Maybe make an audiobook that includes a different voice periodically to ask " Got enough gas? Where are you anyway? I'm hungry."
I relied on those when I was on the road. Audible started supplying books on cassettes in truck stops, the membership fee was very reasonable and they had a good selection.
Hahaha. You're going to need at least a season's worth of radio shows to get across Texas! We made the trip once horizontally from Del Rio and South Padre Island to El Paso, stopping at several fun hotels and sights over several days. That's one big dayum state!
At least you did it the ‘fun’ way! As a child, my family traveled across the state of Texas in a day. A very long day, because, as Dave Barry says, ‘Dad was driving.’ (My father’s goal was 900 miles every day; not my mother’s however, so sometimes we didn’t make his goal)
How's the reception in Death Valley? We can't even get AM radio at night 45 minutes West of Minneapolis, but the internet solved that with I Heart Radio.
A couple valleys to the west (Indian Wells Valley, west of Searles Valley, west of Death Valley) we would get Salt Lake City AM stations after dark. Daytime, maybe local stations from Barstow and Ridgecrest.
Those early childhood frights from film can last a lifetime! I am close to the last woman in America who bathes rather than showers. (It's getting harder and harder to find a bathtub in hotels...) After Psycho, showering just never appealed to me. My dentist in St. Paul said the dental torture scene in Marathon Man set dentistry back decades! AG
Susan - As a child, I was not allowed to watch TV shows with all that violence. My mother was never specific about which shows were okay and which were not. However, to this day, I know when something appears on the screen that I am not allowed to watch. Even the murder mysteries I enjoy watching, I often have to close my eyes and ask my husband to tell me when it is okay for me to look.
That is funny, Arona! I just thought maybe "David" had a husband! It happens in the best of families. And what a pretty name "Arona" is. "Susan" was so common in my era that on my dorm floor with 30 Freshman girls, 4 of us were named Susan! AG
I think when I was very small - perhaps 4 or 5 -- my parents took me to see some Ozzie and Harriet comedy, the highlight of which was Ozzie and Harriet trying to stop some sort of bad guys, strung many elastic foundation garments across the road and stopped their car. This scrap of memory from a mere 75 years ago ...AG
And who can forget the green hand destroying angel in The Ten Commandments? I was seven when we watched that one, and I was so scared I had to go back to sharing a room with my two younger brothers. It was terrifying! I kept wondering if it applied to oldest daughters, too.
TV shows, movies, or plays based on a novel are not the same as the original book, though many do an excellent job of translating the book into a different form.
The map of the 100 Acre Wood is always a pleasure to see. Finding where Pooh, Christopher Robin, and their friends have their adventures is an adventure for the reader.
Your post took me right back to sitting with my mom in the kitchen, she was smoking "Virginia Slims," and doing needlepoint. We were listening to the CBS Radio Mystery Theater on WCCO, and I would be eating whatever was available for snacks. The memory makes my heart ache. My mom LOVED a good mystery. Thank you!
I feel your heartache, William. I can cry at the drop of a hat over such memories and sometimes not even be aware that I am crying. I would be drying dishes while Mama washed and we were listening to the radio soap opera "Helen Trent". The intro was "Can a woman over 35 still find love?" And the theme song was "Juanita". which I am humming right now! AG
I faintly remember a show my Mom used to listen to -- Stella Dallas. It was fraught with angst and betrayal, much like the current Republican party. Can't we get that nepo baby out of Alaska?
Listened to Conrad 73 years ago; he was great! Reason for replacement should be obvious. Anress LOOKS LIKE MR. DILLON! CONRAD DOES NOT!
Conrad was a good actor! Seen him many times; but not a Dillon guy. Show did well because Arness looked the part; and played it well! Watch it for years.
zIthin Ace has the copy right to Perfeesser; 'see no acknowledgement. Watch out! Ace I think is an exjarhead; we're mean!
Probably more than you wanted to know, courtesy of AI:
The military group known as the "Baa Baa Black Sheep" was VMF-214, a United States Marine Corps fighter squadron during World War II.
VMF-214 was formed in 1942 and became famous for its unconventional tactics and high success rate in aerial combat.
The squadron was led by Major Gregory "Pappy" Boyington, who became a notable figure due to his leadership and combat achievements.
The squadron's exploits were popularized in the late 1970s by the television series "Baa Baa Black Sheep," which dramatized their missions and experiences, although it received mixed reviews from critics and veterans.
I grew up in rural Washington, near a chicken farm. Despite that pungent experience, I love birds and have photographed them for many years. The tasty chicken remains my favorite bird. Birds could never hurt us, though some, like ravens, are pretty crafty.
I grew up on a farm where the chickens were cage-free and had the run of the barnyard. One Easter, some well-meaning soul gifted me with a pink baby chick. In spite of my nurturing, Rosie grew up to become an assassin and had to be "given to a nice family out in the country". Well, I thought WE were out in the country but didn't question it very enthusiastically because I had just survived a Hitchcock-like attack the day before when I stayed home while my parents made a quick trip to town. The moment I ventured outside, Rosie rounded the corner of the barn full speed, wings flapping, claws ready to engage. There was a ladder nearby and I had just enough time to climb to the roof of the garage and kick the ladder away from the approaching faded pink demon.
It was a long wait before I saw our trusty, somewhat rusty, pastel green Ford emerging from the dust cloud approaching from the West to rescue me from a fricken chicken.
My grandparents kept chickens. The big old rooster chased any woman or girl in skirts, which they all wore, and pecked their legs. Until he pecked grandmother one time too many and was served up for Sunday dinner.
Dad, a real farm boy, bought me a pet chicken when I was maybe 4 years old. The chicken was interesting until it decided I did not need eyeballs. Mother, being an experienced farm girl observed the situation and we had fried chicken that night. To quote Mom, that was the toughest chicken I have ever eaten.....
Max, thank you for those unforgettable scenes from old TV shows. Oh the memories! I utterly adored Davin Janssen as "The Fugitive" and I lived for each new episode. I was a kid who hated being female and wanted to be a guy...until I saw Janssen. I followed the series to the end and always, of course, believed in his innocence. I didn't know then how powerfully Conrad's voice was a part of the experience. Men were MEN back then, and even if the characterizations were excessive, they shaped my mind and gave me heroes I could believe in and strong heroines who I could hope to emulate.
In many ways I am still that star-struck kid who wanted to believe in good versus evil.
I agree with l.E. Joiner. Its not our world. Or at least the world as we imagine it to be. Peter Jackson, I think the director even if he stays true as best as he can to Tolkien, it's still what he believes to be accurate. Oh and as for Donald Westlake, I just reread 2 of his earlier ones. Funny, funny. the dialogue sparkles.
It can’t be true that Hitchcock didn’t understand why or how to disguise the murder. Psycho (1960) preceded The Birds (1963). One must infer intent rather than accidence or error. And my bride (b. 1954) grew up in LA and was terrified by The Birds. There were more movie customers in LA than rural Minnesota, so maybe it’s just the economics of diversification.
Stan Freberg did a series of radio ads in '60's which pointed out the greater range of possibilities on radio("Cue the Royal Canadian Air Force! Drop the marshmallows in Lake Michigan!") As a counterpoint, though, he also made one of the greatest TV ads in history - the Jeno's Pizza Roll ad starring Clayton Moore and Jay SIlvers Heels in their roles as the Lone Ranger and Tonto.
Joe, you are the only writer alive who can make sense of Gunsmoke, Jake & the Fat Man, Rocky and Bullwinkle and Shakespeare all being strung together in a short and touching essay. Incomparable. [yay! no typos]
And I just realized I left out your inclusion of a horror movie to boot.
Ok Max...so you ain't a map guy...for your novels. What about illustrations throughout the book? You have a graphic on the cover of your books. As a yute, one of the things I loved about my particular hard-copy volume of "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" by Jules Verne was the illustrations placed at key points...depictions of Captain Nemo, a scene showing a burial of one of the crewmembers of the Nautilus in an underwater cemetery, sea creatures attacking Ned Land.
As for non-fiction, who doesn't love the maps in the books of Generals Sherman and Grant?
As for movies, I loved "The Birds" by Hitchcock. Your Browerville students were treated to the film. (Did they need permission from their parents to watch it?)
True story: My English teacher in high school treated us students to a viewing of Hitchcock's "Psycho" starring Tony Perkins. (We had a 35mm projector room). My teacher, being something of a provocateur, dressed-up in costume and in the middle of the scene where Tony Perkins (the Psycho) pulls-back the shower curtain and starts knifing Janet Leigh, my teacher ran with a knife raised down the middle of the room, seemingly emerging right from the screen, and freaked all us youngsters out. Once the panic subsided, the laughter began. My teacher was not fired. It was a different time.
Tony,
I do plan on putting illustrations in my next book. I do it here, don't I?
Can you create a "Lizzo" character complete with a "Lizzo" illustration for your next book?
Hmm....
I can help!
Ol' Mel
That is appreciated, Ol' Mel, but It's not something I see myself wanting to do. :)
Tony, did you do marketing for either Bud Lite or for Jaguar? Max is trying to sell books, not destroy his brand!!
May I suggest ….
Can you create a “Sydney Sweeney" character complete with a "Sydney Sweeney" centerfold illustration for your next book? … asking for a “friend”
LOL
Gross. You and Lizzo both.
I already have mental pictures of all of your characters. Will you be featuring them in your illustrations?
No--that would be inconsistent with what I wrote here. But some illustrations can advance the story.
School is even more frightening today -- the teacher is more likely to run down the middle of the room waving a gay flag wearing an anti-ICE hat.
I assume you mean "run" in a metaphorical sense? "Lumber" would be more likely in what I've seen. AG
Waddle?
And carrying a loaded gun, just before setting on its way to a mostly-peaceful demonstration when the bell rings.
Odd behavior for a nun? AG
Most guys aren't "map guys". I will ask Tom if he knows how to get where we're going. I admit that we eventually get there, but I don't think it is always the most direct route.
I know guys who are still map guys. Me, for one.
and now I gladly know one, too
On trips as a child I always had my own maps in the back. After correcting my mother's directions twice, I was promoted to Navigator at age 7.
I
Me too.
Actually, I am a map guy too. This comes in handy when I am traveling with someone who is not a map person.
When I left my parents’ house and went away to college/grad school I did not have a television at home for fifteen years. I became an avid fan of radio and enjoyed the stations that played “old time” radio shows, the westerns, the drama, and the comedy. Sirius XM has a channel that runs those shows that I enjoy. I am still a bigger fan of books and radio than TV or movies, with few exceptions. When it comes to music, though, there is nothing better than an in person concert.
That Sirius XM channel is a lot of fun for me, too.
The radio shows on Sirius have gotten me through drives across entire states (KS, NM). I'm not even aware how much time has passed while listening.
How about audiobooks?
It's an interesting problem. With the radio shows, there's almost always a commercial break every thirty minutes where I check the gas gauge and anything else that needs attention. The first time I listened to an audiobook (Indian in the Cupboard since I was driving with young children), I remember my panic when I looked at the dash and screamed "How long has it been on empty?" In the middle of South Dakota, with almost nothing around. Maybe make an audiobook that includes a different voice periodically to ask " Got enough gas? Where are you anyway? I'm hungry."
My steering wheel suggests that I stop and get coffee. Like that's any of its business.
I relied on those when I was on the road. Audible started supplying books on cassettes in truck stops, the membership fee was very reasonable and they had a good selection.
Hahaha. You're going to need at least a season's worth of radio shows to get across Texas! We made the trip once horizontally from Del Rio and South Padre Island to El Paso, stopping at several fun hotels and sights over several days. That's one big dayum state!
AG
The sun is riz, the sun is set
And here we is, in Texas yet.
That state does go on forever.
Just like the paid protesters. They're going to be sitting in wait for the next outrage opportunity looking like cats watching the automatic feeder
Who would be most likely to bring up CATS than Tracy!!!
At least you did it the ‘fun’ way! As a child, my family traveled across the state of Texas in a day. A very long day, because, as Dave Barry says, ‘Dad was driving.’ (My father’s goal was 900 miles every day; not my mother’s however, so sometimes we didn’t make his goal)
"If Mom was driving, she might have a lapse in judgement and stop when little Susie's appendix erupted..." a paraphrase of Dave Barry, but hilarious.
My dad and husband are like that. No joy in the journey, just need to get there.
How's the reception in Death Valley? We can't even get AM radio at night 45 minutes West of Minneapolis, but the internet solved that with I Heart Radio.
A couple valleys to the west (Indian Wells Valley, west of Searles Valley, west of Death Valley) we would get Salt Lake City AM stations after dark. Daytime, maybe local stations from Barstow and Ridgecrest.
Well, I'm listening on Sirius radio, so I don't have to worry about local stations.
Those early childhood frights from film can last a lifetime! I am close to the last woman in America who bathes rather than showers. (It's getting harder and harder to find a bathtub in hotels...) After Psycho, showering just never appealed to me. My dentist in St. Paul said the dental torture scene in Marathon Man set dentistry back decades! AG
Ammo...you beat me to it: "Psycho." Great film.
And, just like using the "buddy system" while swimming for safety, always shower with a buddy for protection.
Tony, Could you and Lizzo both fit in a normal-sized shower?
I'm not going to be the one to suggest Tidal Wave Auto Spa.
Thanks for not suggesting it.
Susan - As a child, I was not allowed to watch TV shows with all that violence. My mother was never specific about which shows were okay and which were not. However, to this day, I know when something appears on the screen that I am not allowed to watch. Even the murder mysteries I enjoy watching, I often have to close my eyes and ask my husband to tell me when it is okay for me to look.
To clarify, this should be showing as written by Arona, not David. I did not realize I was in his account rather than my own.
That is funny, Arona! I just thought maybe "David" had a husband! It happens in the best of families. And what a pretty name "Arona" is. "Susan" was so common in my era that on my dorm floor with 30 Freshman girls, 4 of us were named Susan! AG
The sadistic German dentist I had as a child set my dental health way back.
Our parents never took us to the movies until The Ten Commandments came out. Not even the Three Stooges!
I think when I was very small - perhaps 4 or 5 -- my parents took me to see some Ozzie and Harriet comedy, the highlight of which was Ozzie and Harriet trying to stop some sort of bad guys, strung many elastic foundation garments across the road and stopped their car. This scrap of memory from a mere 75 years ago ...AG
Mitigate angst, shower with a friend...
And who can forget the green hand destroying angel in The Ten Commandments? I was seven when we watched that one, and I was so scared I had to go back to sharing a room with my two younger brothers. It was terrifying! I kept wondering if it applied to oldest daughters, too.
Radio has always been my favorite medium.
TV shows, movies, or plays based on a novel are not the same as the original book, though many do an excellent job of translating the book into a different form.
The map of the 100 Acre Wood is always a pleasure to see. Finding where Pooh, Christopher Robin, and their friends have their adventures is an adventure for the reader.
Clarifying this comment too was written by Arona, not David. Again, I did not realize I was in his account rather than my own.
In my opinion, the pinnacle of Conrad’s career was Rocky and Bullwinkle. Same with Edward Everett Horton and June Foray…
...and Bill Scott and Hans Conreid and Walter Tetley and Daws Butler...
I switch between thinking Looney Toons and Rocky and Bullwinkle as which have the best cartoons…
Your post took me right back to sitting with my mom in the kitchen, she was smoking "Virginia Slims," and doing needlepoint. We were listening to the CBS Radio Mystery Theater on WCCO, and I would be eating whatever was available for snacks. The memory makes my heart ache. My mom LOVED a good mystery. Thank you!
I feel your heartache, William. I can cry at the drop of a hat over such memories and sometimes not even be aware that I am crying. I would be drying dishes while Mama washed and we were listening to the radio soap opera "Helen Trent". The intro was "Can a woman over 35 still find love?" And the theme song was "Juanita". which I am humming right now! AG
I faintly remember a show my Mom used to listen to -- Stella Dallas. It was fraught with angst and betrayal, much like the current Republican party. Can't we get that nepo baby out of Alaska?
Listened to Conrad 73 years ago; he was great! Reason for replacement should be obvious. Anress LOOKS LIKE MR. DILLON! CONRAD DOES NOT!
Conrad was a good actor! Seen him many times; but not a Dillon guy. Show did well because Arness looked the part; and played it well! Watch it for years.
zIthin Ace has the copy right to Perfeesser; 'see no acknowledgement. Watch out! Ace I think is an exjarhead; we're mean!
Loved William Conrad.
He was a dead ringer for my dad.
Also loved Robert Conrad.
agreed
Jim and Arty were great!
PS
Because I wore E,G+A I led Baa Baa Black Sheep; bias acknowledged.
Might you explain? I don't understand. But I agree with your comment above.
Probably more than you wanted to know, courtesy of AI:
The military group known as the "Baa Baa Black Sheep" was VMF-214, a United States Marine Corps fighter squadron during World War II.
VMF-214 was formed in 1942 and became famous for its unconventional tactics and high success rate in aerial combat.
The squadron was led by Major Gregory "Pappy" Boyington, who became a notable figure due to his leadership and combat achievements.
The squadron's exploits were popularized in the late 1970s by the television series "Baa Baa Black Sheep," which dramatized their missions and experiences, although it received mixed reviews from critics and veterans.
I grew up in rural Washington, near a chicken farm. Despite that pungent experience, I love birds and have photographed them for many years. The tasty chicken remains my favorite bird. Birds could never hurt us, though some, like ravens, are pretty crafty.
I grew up on a farm where the chickens were cage-free and had the run of the barnyard. One Easter, some well-meaning soul gifted me with a pink baby chick. In spite of my nurturing, Rosie grew up to become an assassin and had to be "given to a nice family out in the country". Well, I thought WE were out in the country but didn't question it very enthusiastically because I had just survived a Hitchcock-like attack the day before when I stayed home while my parents made a quick trip to town. The moment I ventured outside, Rosie rounded the corner of the barn full speed, wings flapping, claws ready to engage. There was a ladder nearby and I had just enough time to climb to the roof of the garage and kick the ladder away from the approaching faded pink demon.
It was a long wait before I saw our trusty, somewhat rusty, pastel green Ford emerging from the dust cloud approaching from the West to rescue me from a fricken chicken.
So Rosie was like the killer bunny in Monty Python?
Or the one that attacked Jimmy Carter.
Slightly less loveable than the killer bunny, although no beheadings occurred.
My grandparents kept chickens. The big old rooster chased any woman or girl in skirts, which they all wore, and pecked their legs. Until he pecked grandmother one time too many and was served up for Sunday dinner.
Made me laugh out loud, Mark. AG
OK, I'll change it to "birds would seldom hurt us!" Similarly, I'm not sure an opportunistic vulture would wait until I was fully expired.
Dad, a real farm boy, bought me a pet chicken when I was maybe 4 years old. The chicken was interesting until it decided I did not need eyeballs. Mother, being an experienced farm girl observed the situation and we had fried chicken that night. To quote Mom, that was the toughest chicken I have ever eaten.....
Max, thank you for those unforgettable scenes from old TV shows. Oh the memories! I utterly adored Davin Janssen as "The Fugitive" and I lived for each new episode. I was a kid who hated being female and wanted to be a guy...until I saw Janssen. I followed the series to the end and always, of course, believed in his innocence. I didn't know then how powerfully Conrad's voice was a part of the experience. Men were MEN back then, and even if the characterizations were excessive, they shaped my mind and gave me heroes I could believe in and strong heroines who I could hope to emulate.
In many ways I am still that star-struck kid who wanted to believe in good versus evil.
I am not alone.
I agree with l.E. Joiner. Its not our world. Or at least the world as we imagine it to be. Peter Jackson, I think the director even if he stays true as best as he can to Tolkien, it's still what he believes to be accurate. Oh and as for Donald Westlake, I just reread 2 of his earlier ones. Funny, funny. the dialogue sparkles.
"The Birds".
Another treasured Hollywood convention: bird violence is superior to human violence and therefore is okay.
It can’t be true that Hitchcock didn’t understand why or how to disguise the murder. Psycho (1960) preceded The Birds (1963). One must infer intent rather than accidence or error. And my bride (b. 1954) grew up in LA and was terrified by The Birds. There were more movie customers in LA than rural Minnesota, so maybe it’s just the economics of diversification.
The issue of imagination vs. on the nose, coupled with your newest novel, Deep Fakery (which I loved btw) illuminates a truly scary future.
A generation which believes everything and dreams nothing.
Stan Freberg did a series of radio ads in '60's which pointed out the greater range of possibilities on radio("Cue the Royal Canadian Air Force! Drop the marshmallows in Lake Michigan!") As a counterpoint, though, he also made one of the greatest TV ads in history - the Jeno's Pizza Roll ad starring Clayton Moore and Jay SIlvers Heels in their roles as the Lone Ranger and Tonto.
I'm still trying to figure out how Max gets from maps to Boris Badenov to Shakespeare. I guess the answer is delicately. Nice post.
Stream of consciousness? His novels seem to work that way sometimes, too.
I’d like to think that Max gets from Boris Badenov to Shakespeare thru a clever literary enhancing device — “mushrooms”.
Well, you know he did live for a while in San Franciso way back in the 1900s
Sorry to disappoint--no drugs here, either by me or by Mrs. Cossack. Everything you're fretting about happens on its own.