Reflections on a Litter Box

Applying the Scoop of Sanity to the "Litter-ati"

Cats are very clean and tidy animals. Like all life, they must eliminate waste, but they must cover it up – especially in the wild! – lest they be smelled out and killed. It’s been a few decades since Joe/Max and I have had cats. Regrettably, I mostly remember the love, the petting, the sweet warmth of a cat on my lap. I had completely erased from my memory the ordeal of The Litter Box.

Now, as regular readers know, Joe/Max and I have two little black kittens, one a tiny female named Cocoa, who weighs 3.1 lbs. Her litter mate, Tyrus, is a strapping boy who weighs 4.8 lbs. Clearly, the vet’s scale is off, because there is NO DIFFERENCE between males and females born at the same time from the same mother! As everyone important knows. Are YOU important? No? Then you probably don’t know this.

You’ve probably heard of fighters who “punch above their weight”? But, I am impressed as all get out that these two critters who together don’t quite weigh 8 lbs can eliminate above what feels like their weight several times a day. I deal with two litter boxes 2-4 times a day, which is at least marginally more pleasant than watching The View.

Anyway, one thing I’ve noticed is that the covering over of their output can occupy several minutes for them to get it just right. And this rather reminds me of the Democrats’ strategy for almost everything. (Bear with me…)

The first thing Democrats do to cover up the putrid effluvia of their proposed or, heaven forbid, passed legislation is to name it something benign, something wonderful, even! Something generally the polar opposite of what it actually is.

Just a few examples off the top of my head: A monstrous 3,000 page bill heading us most of the way down the slippery slope that is single payer government-controlled ACCESS to health care (not to be confused with ACTUAL care that heals) was passed because, in the unforgettable words of then Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, “Shut up!” No, wait, that was the other day. What she said about ObamaCare was “We have to pass the bill in order to find out what’s in it.”

Somewhere, some day, someone might have said something more stupid but I cannot call it to mind. I heard her say it in real time and thought that I must have misheard her. Alas, no.

And it was officially named The Affordable Care Act. Oh Em Gee, you guys! Who doesn’t love CARE? And who doesn’t love things that are AFFORDABLE? MANY people were perfectly happy with the health insurance they had troubled themselves to purchase. Surveys were done of “the Uninsured!” and it turned out even people making upper middle class incomes just didn’t feel like buying health insurance. They would rather go to Maui again. But those who had it and liked it were much aggrieved when they were thrown off their plans even though they were promised by the Liar-in-Chief, “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.”

“Whoopsie. No, you can’t. Our bad. Too bad. So sad. Hahaha. We just outright lied to you, and we knew we were lying going in. We thought it was funny. Whatcha gonna do about it?”

Somewhere, in an obscenely-compensated “consumer survey”, it must have been discovered that Americans are just wacky all-in for the word “care”, particularly women. Also they just love “affirming” and “validating” things, God knows why.

I once made a nice friend at my old synagogue who wasn’t even an academic who talked in nothing but these kind of therapeutic platitudes. I finally had to say, “Look, I like you and would very much enjoy being friends. But I have spent the last 20 years primarily around men on shop floors and in green rooms, and I am going to have to ask you to talk like a regular person, only possibly with fewer f-bombs than I am used to.” She would occasionally slip back into “supporting” and “validating” and “affirming” or being “uncomfortable” with something rather than just “disagreeing” like a normal person. But, she had a good heart, and we did remain friends until we moved away.

So, we are all agreed that you can’t just call the Democrats’ legislative output a “turd”. No. That is not a pretty word. So, with the help of kinder, gentler WORDS, killing unborn babies, even up until the moment of birth in several states, including Minnesota, is called “women’s health care”. The very same people with billboards on their front lawns ADVERTISING their superior ability to care – about Black Lives, about Gazan rapists, about Poor Overheated Gaia – are just fine with calling killing an eight or 10 lb fully-formed baby “women’s health care”.

But the best was really yet to come. Mutilating and sterilizing confused or autistic children who aren’t old enough to drive or get their ears pierced without parental permission, has been named Gender-Affirming Care. Look at all the buried poo in THAT whopper!

First of all, it’s NOT Gender “affirming” as the gender is obvious with even a cursory glance and needs no affirmation. It is Gender ALTERING, not affirming, and it is doomed to ultimate failure because of that pesky chromosome deal. Whatever else it is, it DEFINITELY is not care. But there will be “care” aplenty – totalling an even cool million dollars’ worth as a start, and then requiring LIFETIME maintenance of the faux genitalia and so forth.

To return to our Litter Box metaphor, unlike Obama’s promised construction projects, almost everything the Democrats propose is “shovel-ready”. Or in our metaphor’s case, Pooper Scooper-ready. We have established that the “waste” of Democrat ideas or programs is rebranded with soothing words, but it still needs to be sold to the public. How?

And that’s where the media comes in, both print and electronic. They ARE the litter burying and covering up the malodorous work product.

I have said in previous columns that even as a small child, I simply did not believe the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” NOBODY could fail to notice that the Potentate was NAKED, could they? “That’s just silly, Mommy,” said the 5 year old logician.

But when ALL your Facebook friends; all your lefty cousins; all the harridans of The View, including the fake “conservative” one; all the late-night television bores except for Gutfeld, all the shrews with the news and their male-ish counterparts; all the bots on TikTok; tell you that The Emperor is fully clothed and fit as a fiddle as he falls off his bike and wanders into the jungle alone – well, what’s a person to think? The Hollywood set gets into the act, not as the glitterati – but as the litter-ati. Especially, attention-seeking has-beens like Cher, Bette Midler or Rosie O’Donnell. Rosie is completely round the bend. SOMEBODY who REALLY cares in Ireland has to contain her with a merciful butterfly net.

But, at least, for one grand moment in history, in 2024, the American public was able to use The Scoop of Sanity to dig beneath the surface of the Litter Box of Lies to ferret out the nuggets of crap and vote in someone determined to take out the waste or die trying. And he’s still got more than three more years. Take heart, patriots, and FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! The Democrats are powerful and formidable. But there is no worse enemy than despair. It’s a luxury we can’t afford.